I was at Wal-Mart, today, buying odds and ends. In the automotive department, there was a beautiful black woman, with long, straightened, only slightly curly hair, probably early 30's, and somewhat big titties in a white tube top, with her family. She was pretty dressed up, for Wal-mart and all. But she was nice enough looking for me to circle her like a shark. With red hair and glasses.

She was there with what I assume to be her husband, though, so I had to be discreet. Watching her while holding a tire in front of my face, hanging from one of their video camera bubbles, disguised as deer taxidermy, pretending I was really fascinated in... trampolines. That's at least half right.

She made my otherwise mundane Wal-mart experience at least quasi-eventful.

It's times like those I wish I had a portable masseuse table, where I could pose as a promotions vendor, giving 'free back rubs'. And only pick beautiful women. That'd be awesome.

"I'm sorry sir, my techniques are useless on men. The... testosterone, counteracts the... endorphins... ...Mmmmmidichlorions... you're ugly. --Next please!"

If you happen to be that woman, I want to have sexual relations with you.

...Just lookin' out.

I can take off the dead deer head.

Or not.